Coordinating Christmas Gifts With Your Co-Parent

The holidays are already stressful. Making a plan for getting gifts for your children can save you a few headaches.

Collaborating on presents for your kids

A good exercise in collaborative co-parenting is working together to tick items off your child's wish list.

Ensure that you both know what your child likes. Store information about your child's interests online so you can both edit and view as needed. Also, share your child's Christmas wish list so you know what is left to buy. (See 'Maintaining your child's Christmas wish list' below.)

Buy some gifts together to save money — you can split the cost of pricier gifts — and even out how much you're spending. Keep track of how much you're spending to stick to your budget and see how much your co-parent owes you for gifts you agreed to pay for together.

If you give experience gifts like concert tickets, vacations and trips to the zoo or planetarium, determine whether both parents will attend or if only one will go. It's helpful if you've already set ground rules for special occasions (e.g., vacations after divorce).

Setting guidelines for presents

Parents may opt to put limits on the price or number of Christmas gifts. Price limits are especially important if you will be sharing the cost. Check in with the other parent to see whether they can afford their share before making a big purchase.

Other guidelines you might enforce include:

• Restrictions on gifts: Discourage buying gifts that are dangerous or inappropriate for your child's age.
• Gift giving: Decide who will give jointly-purchased gifts to the child. It could be the parent who had the gift idea, covered a larger portion of the cost, will spend the holiday with the child, etc. Also, whose name will be written on the tag? For a younger child, you might opt to say the gift is from "Santa."
• A budget: A budget helps you both stay within your means and feel less like you need to compete. It also makes spending more even.
• Reimbursement deadlines: How soon must parents reimburse one another? Will you wait until after the holidays to settle up?

Include these gifting guidelines and more in your parenting plan. Since what's appropriate for your child will change as they mature, allow flexibility. For example, you wouldn't want to include a term like, "neither parent can purchase a car for the child," since eventually you might want to buy your child a car. Instead, you could specify that parents must wait for the child to get a driver's license before buying them a car.

Keeping each other informed about gifts

Keep one another updated about what you're buying to monitor spending and avoid buying the same gifts.

Message one another as you shop for gifts. For example, if there are particular gifts that you yourself want to buy for the child, contact your co-parent ahead of time so they don't buy it. Using co-parenting software ensures you always know when you get a message about your child.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Maintaining a list is another way to stay informed. Make sure the list is available for both parents to view and edit. Custody software like Custody X Change is a good way to handle this. It also notifies you whenever a parent makes a change to the list which is especially helpful for parents who don't get along well enough to message frequently.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Buying gifts for a co-parent

Co-parents often feel lonely during the holidays after divorce or separation. Exchanging gifts could perk up your moods.

Co-parents could buy small gifts for each other to show goodwill, or just help their child buy a gift for the parent. Another option is helping your child make crafts for your co-parent (e.g., a Christmas card).

Exchanging gifts with your co-parent demonstrates maturity to your child and teaches them the importance of generosity during the Christmas season.

Set boundaries for giving gifts to co-parents. Check beforehand to make sure your co-parent — and their partner if they have one — is comfortable with getting a gift from you. Don't pressure them to reciprocate, but express appreciation if they do.

Maintaining your child's Christmas wish list

The old school route of writing out your child's wish list on paper is simple, but inconvenient for collaboration between parents living in separate households. Technology makes it easy to maintain a shared list.

The child info tool within the Custody X Change online app lets you make a list of your child's desired Christmas gifts, which both parents can access if they have accounts.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Attach photos, like screenshots of gifts that are on sale, and check off items from the list so you know what's already been purchased.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

The tool lets you log other helpful information such as your child's likes and dislikes which can help you come up with gift ideas, and measurements to ensure you're buying the right size clothing.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Make Christmas gifting a breeze with Custody X Change.