Co-Parent Communication Guide | Parenting Communication Apps

Effective communication is key to successful co-parenting. However, past relationship issues and clashing parenting styles can make it seem impossible. Technology is the easiest way to avoid a communication breakdown.

Parenting communication apps provide secure spaces for parents to address matters involving their children. These apps encourage civil conversation and keep a record of what parents say to one another.

Parenting communication apps

With so many options, choosing a co-parent communication app can be tricky. To narrow down your choices, consider cost and the other features the apps have to offer. You might even use more than one app to suit your needs and preferences.

The following are four of the most popular co-parenting apps. For all, both parents need an account to use the communication features.

Custody X Change

Custody X Change is the best app for cooperative co-parenting.

As such, its parent-to-parent messaging tool:

• Highlights hostile language
• Provides read receipts and date and time stamps
• Lets you attach photos and documents to messages
• Lets you link accounts with professionals
• Gives you a printable transcript of your conversations

The software also helps you build a parenting plan where you can lay out ground rules for communication, decision-making and much more. Choose from the preloaded categorized provisions or create your own to generate a court-ready document.

The parenting time calculator is another unique feature that is vital to making sure you pay or receive a fair amount of child support and get the time you deserve with your child.

Custody X Change offers affordable monthly and annual subscriptions, including a family plan that lets one parent cover the cost for both parents.

Our Family Wizard

Our Family Wizard is probably the most well-known co-parenting app.

Its phone and video calling feature:

• Only allows calls if both parents have the feature turned on
• Can be used for virtual visits with the kids as well as co-parent communication
• Logs information like who started the call and who turned their camera off

The app lets parents check-in when they arrive at the location where they exchange their child. There's also an in-app payment system so parents can reimburse one another for child-related expenses.

It offers annual subscriptions only so you have to pay for a full year upfront.

Talking Parents

Talking Parents is often court-ordered for high-conflict co-parents.

The app's accountable calling feature is for phone and video calling. You can:

• Connect via internet so you don't have to share phone numbers
• Receive phone calls with a free plan
• Recordings and transcripts of calls are available with a premium plan

Outside of parenting communication, the app offers a storage space for photos, videos, custody documents and more. There's also an "unalterable records" feature that comes in handy for proving the authenticity of documents in court.

Monthly and annual plans are available.

AppClose

AppClose is a free co-parenting app.

Its audio and video calling feature:

• Keeps a log of every call placed, even if the other parent doesn't answer
• Doesn't record calls or share location to ensure privacy
• Only allows calls to go through if both parents have the feature enabled

There's also a messenger that allows group chats and private chats between yourself and your attorney.

"Requests" is another helpful feature. This sends a notification to the other parent whenever you want to change the time you pick up your child or ask that they pay their share of a child-related cost. You'll get a notification when they respond.

Why communicate through an app?

Co-parent communication apps can help you:

• Stay organized: Receiving calls and texts about your child through a parent communication app makes those conversations the priority so you don't miss anything.
• Keep your child out of conflict: Using an app gives you a space to discuss issues out of your child's sight so they aren't put in the middle of conflict.
• Protect yourself: Parenting communication apps spare you from having to share your phone number, essential for victims of domestic violence.
• Be accountable for your words: If you use software that monitors language, you'll know when you're using hurtful words you might otherwise not consider harmful. This lets you pivot to a more positive approach.
• Improve your co-parenting relationship: Using an app shows parents they can work together to solve problems. Cooperation can carry over into other aspects of co-parenting.
• Keep a record for court: A transcript or recording of a conversation helps prove a claim in court.

Co-parent communication guidelines

You might feel like you need to walk on eggshells whenever you communicate with your co-parent.

Employ these guidelines to put yourself at ease.

Make sure your children remain top priority

When parents can't communicate, their kids are left in limbo waiting for their parents to decide big things, like where they go to school, or small things, like whether they can go on a field trip. Put aside your personal feelings and do what needs to be done to make your child feel secure.

Keep an open mind

Try to understand the other parent's perspective, even if you disagree. You'll have to settle on decisions that don't align with exactly what you want; what matters most is the child's best interests.

Don't let anger overtake you

Take a break when things get too heated. Don't send a message in the heat of your anger. Wait until you cool down and process what you want to say. Re-read what you've written before sending. If you're talking on the phone, politely say you need a moment to think.

Consider scheduling time to discuss co-parenting

It's important to set co-parenting boundaries. Setting out time to speak will limit how often you communicate, which, for many, means less chances of a blow up. You can set other boundaries as well like how many texts you can send in a day and deadlines to respond to time-sensitive matters.

Be respectful

You'll get nowhere with name calling and accusations. You don't have to be friends, but you should at least respect one another as parents. Eventually, you might develop a stronger bond after it becomes apparent you both want what's best for your child.

Get outside help if needed

Hire a mediator or parenting coordinator if you find communication especially difficult. Mediators can facilitate conversations while parenting coordinators can make decisions for you when need be. As a last resort, you could communicate through lawyers, but it is significantly more costly.

Before you write directly to the other parent, show a draft to a friend or relative for feedback if you're worried about how you'll come off.

Co-parenting text messages examples

Every situation is different so there is no catch-all way to respond to your co-parent. These examples provide some insight into how to communicate through a parenting text app or other means.

See what productive communication looks like in Custody X Change.

Stay on topic so you're in the right headspace to talk. Keep it simple and to the point.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Be honest and let your co-parent know about any unexpected changes.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Be cordial, even when you can't get on the same page.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.