Vacation During or After Divorce: Restrictions and Advice

A vacation is a welcome respite from the oft-exhausting divorce process. You might take a solo trip, a trip with your child or even a "family" vacation with your child and your ex.

Careful planning is a must regardless of who you're traveling with. If you're traveling with your child, getting proper clearance is vital to avoid charges of parental kidnapping. Knowing the ins and outs of vacationing during or after divorce can save you from returning to court.

Travel restrictions during divorce

Travel restrictions vary based on the terms of your divorce decree or, if your case is still active, any temporary orders in place.

Consult with an attorney before planning your vacation. They can give you specific advice in regards to your situation. If you cannot afford to pay full-price for legal representation, you might be able to get an attorney through legal aid.

Vacationing alone

There are no limits to taking a vacation alone during or after divorce.

If you're in the divorce process, you'll want to make sure you won't miss any important court dates or parenting time as set out in a temporary custody schedule. Barring an emergency, both can negatively impact your case.

If you're already divorced and you have kids, check your custody schedule to see whether your vacation will interfere with your parenting time. If it will, give a heads up to the other parent to make sure they are available to take care of your child. If not, find someone to exercise your time like the child's grandparents; you might need the other parent's approval if you're the noncustodial parent.

Vacationing with your child

During divorce, the judge might ban parents from traveling until there's at least a temporary custody arrangement. Even if there isn't a travel ban, it's a good idea to create a parenting plan proposal to avoid arguments that lead to more costly court time.

Figure out vacations before the issue arises. Include provisions for travel in your parenting plan, including:

• How much notice the parent must give and whether it must be written (recommended)
• If they must share an itinerary
• When parents can take a vacation
• How long the vacation can last
• Any restrictions on where they can travel (e.g., taking the child out of state) and what they can do
• How the other parent can stay in touch with the child during vacation
• If you'll vaccinate your child against diseases specific to where you're traveling

File this with the court handling your case. The judge can sign off on the agreement or, if parents cannot agree, make a decision based on each parent's plan proposal. The agreement or judge's decision must serve the child's best interests.

It's harder to get permission to vacation internationally during divorce as there are concerns the child won't be returned. The other parent may not have any way to get them back depending on the laws of the country the child's been taken to.

After divorce, follow whatever your divorce decree says regarding vacations. If the topic is not covered, you can try to reach an agreement with the other parent or go to court if you cannot. Agreements should be filed with the court in case one parent claims they did not consent.

Hold onto your tickets, rental car receipts and any other proof of the trip in case there's a dispute down the line.

Can the custodial parent deny vacation after divorce?

Yes, custodial parents can deny vacation after divorce. However, the noncustodial parent is allowed to vacation with the child so long as their request is in line with what is established in the decree or agreement. The custodial parent can contest, but their decision should be based on the child's best interests, not their dislike of the other parent.

If vacations aren't included in the decree or agreement, the noncustodial parent can go to court. They can write a letter requesting permission to travel, then file a motion asking the court to approve their request.

Should divorced parents vacation together?

Divorced parents who are somewhat amicable might go on family vacation as a regular tradition or as a one-off to avoid losing money spent on a vacation booked before their split.

Prioritize your child when deciding whether to go on a family vacation while separated or divorced. Consider whether they want to go and if they're comfortable seeing their parents together again. Give your child time to adjust to seeing you apart and to settle into the routine of following a custody schedule. Also, consider how long you've been divorced. Vacationing too soon might cause lingering resentment to surface.

• Are you emotionally prepared? For example, if you're still in love with your ex, vacationing together is not a good idea.
• Can you spare the child from conflict? If you can't be around one another without arguing, you're creating an unhealthy environment for your child.
• What boundaries need to be in place for everyone to have a good time? Create an itinerary that suits everyone's comfort levels. Will you travel separately? Will you have meals together? Will you split time with the children or do everything as a group?
• How will you share costs? Figure out who's responsible for paying what ahead of time to avoid arguments during the vacation.
• Are partners allowed? You or your ex might be working on integrating a new partner into your co-parenting relationship. Be honest about whether or not you want them to tag along.

When co-parents spend time together, they may develop a more positive relationship. Kids also benefit as there's less pressure to choose a side when parents can get along. The vacation can give them at least one more positive impression of their family life.

Consider speaking with a counselor if you're interested in vacationing with your ex after divorce, but unsure of how to approach the situation.

Planning for vacation after divorce with children

Vacations during or after divorce can lead to conflict if there aren't clear rules and expectations. It's best to plan ahead.

Custody X Change can help you cover all the bases regarding vacations in your parenting plan.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Your travel provisions will appear alongside the others you've chosen in a court-ready document with airtight legal language.

You can customize this to fit your situation with Custody X Change.

Use technology to set a solid plan for vacation during and after divorce.