The Best Custody Schedules for Children With ADHD

Co-parenting any child tends to go best when the parents work together respectfully. This collaboration becomes even more essential when your child has attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

ADHD and divorce make a challenging combination because changes at home are likely to make your child feel a lack of stability. This can exacerbate symptoms like emotional outbursts, disorganization and distraction.

To make your divorce or separation as easy on the entire family as possible, come up with a clear, consistent custody schedule. Here are some that work well for many children with ADHD.

4 custody schedules for ADHD

You might use the every weekend schedule with a midweek visit. This keeps one parent in charge of school nights and school dropoffs.

For 50/50 parenting time, try the alternating weeks schedule and add a weeknight visit that lasts a few hours.

Older children may have success spending two weeks with each parent. In this case, you could add multiple dinner visits during the weeks each parent is apart from their child.

If one parent will have more custody time, the every third week schedule is another option. As with the schedules above, fit in short visits with each parent when they don't have custody.

If your child also has autism (which frequently occurs with ADHD), custody schedules for an autistic child may work well.

With any schedule, you could consider birdnesting, a growing trend in which parents alternate who stays in the family home. While challenging for the parents, it can be a huge help for children with ADHD because they never have to shuttle between houses.

Whatever schedule you're thinking of, run it past your child's doctors and behavioral therapist for feedback. What works for one child may not work for the next, and these professionals can help you decide what may be best for your young one and your family's situation.

Be thoughtful about the schedule you choose because your child may not handle changes to it well. If you need to make changes in the future, introduce them gradually.

Why these are the best schedules for ADHD

The best schedules for kids with ADHD:

• Don't require switching homes often: Constantly moving between parents does not suit children with ADHD well. Longer stays at each home tend to work better.
• Steer clear of midweek exchanges: Life can already be overwhelming in the midst of a school week, so don't ask your child to switch homes at this time.
• Provide regular time with each parent: Ensuring your child doesn't go more than a few days without seeing a parent can give them comfort.

Deciding whether to give one parent more time than the other

Making a custody schedule that accounts for your child's ADHD may mean one parent gets more custody time than the other.

For instance, if only one parent is prepared to proactively manage your child's condition, it makes sense for them to spend more time with the child. Similarly, if only one parent lives near your child's doctors and therapists, they probably need to have the majority of parenting time.

Try to focus on what's best for your child over what's fair for the parents. You might meet with a mediator or parenting coordinator (ideally one familiar with special needs in children) to agree on the schedule that will best enable your child to thrive.

Following your schedule consistently

When ADHD is in the mix, following your custody schedule consistently is especially important. Predictability can help your child maintain balance. Put a detailed schedule in your parenting plan so your approach to holidays and summer break is as clear as your approach to regular days.

In addition to following a parenting schedule closely, co-parents should implement similar routines at home. For example, you could both follow this general after-school structure:

• First, snack time
• Then homework
• Followed by dinner
• No more than an hour of TV
• And, finally, bed

This can greatly help with ADHD symptoms and adjusting to two households.

Tips for visits

Prevent tense interactions with your co-parent

Write rules for exchanges into your parenting plan to keep things civil, like no sarcasm. You can even prevent interaction altogether by having one parent stay in the car or using supervised exchanges. Protecting your child from family conflict can help their emotional well-being immensely.

Keep the visiting environment familiar

For example, don't redecorate a room while your child is away. Don't take them to a different restaurant for every dinner visit. You want your child to know more or less what to expect. When you need to make changes, warn them.

Establish simple rituals for exchanges

Each parent can have their own. You might sing a certain song on the ride home, always give a long hug on dropoff, etc.

Display a colorful calendar

Post the same calendar at each house to help your child understand where they will be when. For younger kids, you can incorporate stickers or photos.

The easiest way to make a custody schedule for children with ADHD

There's a lot to think about when you build a parenting time schedule. You'll want it to support your child's well-being, address holidays and school breaks, and work for years to come.

The Custody X Change app makes it easy. Just follow our steps to make a custody schedule.

You'll probably want to add at least one repeating visit in Step 3 (for short midweek visits).

To make a custody schedule quickly and affordably, turn to Custody X Change. You'll get a written schedule and a visual calendar that meet your family's needs, as well as court standards.