The New Mom's Guide to Newborn and Infant Visitation
Becoming a mother is daunting, especially when you're separated from your baby's father. Between understanding your parental rights and fostering a co-parenting relationship, you may not even know where to begin. Let's help you get started.
Parental rights
The parental rights you have once your child is born depend on where you live.
In some states, you or the child's father must start a court case to determine parental rights. In other states, an unmarried mother automatically gets sole physical custody and sole legal custody. This means the child lives with her and only she can make decisions for them until a court rules otherwise.
Before hearing a custody case, courts typically require legal establishment of the child's paternity. Some states only require the father's signature on the child's birth certificate, while others require both parents to sign an acknowledgment of paternity.
If the mother and alleged father disagree on who fathered the child, they and the child usually have to undergo DNA testing.
Once paternity is established, parents can either reach a custody agreement or proceed through court and let the judge decide custody orders.
Making a temporary schedule
It takes time to get a custody order. In the meantime, make a newborn visitation schedule to temporarily arrange for the baby to spend time with their father (unless the child wouldn't be safe).
Allowing visits early on can help the baby foster a relationship with their dad and help you foster a co-parenting relationship. Also, when making a custody decision, judges often look favorably on mothers who have allowed visits.
Here are a few basic things to keep in mind when making and starting your schedule.
Coordinate regular visits with the father
Discuss with the baby's father when he'll usually be available for visits. Choose times that don't disrupt the baby's feeding and sleep schedules. Consistency is key to making your baby feel secure, so avoid scheduling day by day or week by week.
Keep visits short and frequent
Frequency is more important than duration when it comes to infant visitation. This means it's better for the baby to see the other parent four times a week for two hours at a time than for a weekly eight-hour visit.
Keep track of the father's visits
You should keep track of any missed visits. You can also keep a log of how visits go. This will come in handy when you're trying to figure out a long-term visitation schedule with the other parent or when you go to court.
Sometimes unforeseen events interfere with visitation. Missing one visit doesn't make someone a horrible father. The problem occurs when this behavior becomes a pattern. Jotting down notes about visits can help you see and prove a pattern.
Put your baby's needs first
Your infant's need for a loving relationship with both parents should come before any relationship drama. Try to remember that they are at a critical time in their development. UCLA neuropsychologist Allan Schore said it's important to ask, "How will any given arrangement affect the baby's developing mind?" Or, as he also put it, "What kinds of arrangements will lead to a growth-facilitating environment?"
The easiest way to create a newborn visitation schedule
Creating a schedule that allows significant time with each parent is vital to your baby's growth. You should also think about how the schedule can be adapted as your child gets older.
The Custody X Change app helps you build a schedule step by step. You get a written schedule and visual calendar that meet your family's needs as well as the court's standards.
You can customize this with Custody X Change.
Once your schedule starts, use the actual parenting time tracker to see how the number of scheduled visits compares to the number your baby actually gets with their father.
You can customize this with Custody X Change.
For affordable help making a custody schedule and tracking parenting time, turn to Custody X Change.