How To Deal with Disney Parenting (Or "Uncle Dad")

Co-parents often have different parenting philosophies. When one parent places fun above all else, they're sometimes called a Disney parent.

Dealing with a Disneyland parent is often exhausting. While fun is important, too much of it can make parenting difficult. You're left with the complicated parenting duties while the other parent gets to be the best friend. However, it is possible to successfully co-parent with a Disney parent.

Disneyland dad meaning

A Disneyland dad, also called an uncle dad, is a noncustodial parent who focuses on fun rather than responsibility and discipline. They get to be the "fun parent" while the custodial parent bears the brunt of the parenting responsibilities. There are Disneyland moms, too.

Things to know about Disneyland parents

So-called uncle dads or aunt moms do not always act in bad faith. They may not understand the impact of what they're doing. They may simply want to spend the limited time they have with the children having fun.

Some dismiss this as "weekend dad syndrome," but the fear that your children will resent you because you're not around as much is very real. The noncustodial parent might think their generosity and lax parenting will make up for the time they miss.

On the other hand, a Disney dad or Disney mom may spoil their kids to spite the custodial parent. Lavishing the child with gifts and trips is their attempt to curry favor with the children and make the custodial parent unlikable. Although that is unlikely to happen, their lack of discipline can make it harder for the custodial parent to keep the kids under control.

Another possibility is that Disney parenting is the only parenting style they know. That's why it's so important to have a thorough parenting plan. It sets parenting expectations and can guide parents who don't know what to do.

Tips for dealing with a Disneyland parent

• Create a solid parenting plan. Set ground rules for how you will parent your child. Once the plan gets approved by the court and becomes part of a custody order, it is legally enforceable. This is often enough to get an uncle dad or aunt mom to start being more responsible.
• Consider offering more parenting time — with clear expectations. Some parents only do fun things during visits because they only get weekend visits. Weekday visits would give the parent more responsibility, like taking the child to school and extracurriculars, making sure they finish homework, etc. These responsibilities can help the Disney parent develop better parenting skills.
• Be secure in your bond with your child. The other parent spoiling your child won't make your child love you less. Stick to parenting in a way that will help your child learn and grow, and express your love for them in your way.
• Teach children not to equate gifts with love. Let your child know that love is about more than material things. That way, they can develop healthy bonds with others when they're older.
• Teach the importance of responsibility. Counterbalance the Disneyland parent's laid-back attitude by teaching your children to be responsible. Give them chores and reward them for their good behavior. Take away privileges when they misbehave.
• Don't take out your frustrations on the kids. Kids will often want to tell you what they did during their visit or show the gifts they receive. Don't get upset with them for being excited. Share that you're happy for them. Otherwise, they may start to feel guilty.
• Don't try to change the Disney dad or mom. It can be tempting to step in and try to micromanage the way the noncustodial parent parents. However, this can leave you mentally exhausted and sparring with the other parent. Instead, focus on your household and your parenting.

Making a parenting plan to cope with Disneyland parenting

A solid parenting plan is a necessity when dealing with an uncle dad. The Custody X Change parenting plan template offers more than 140 provisions to help you get a grip on your Disney co-parent.

The following categories are especially helpful in these situations.

• Child-rearing provisions: Leave no space for misunderstanding the ground rules for raising your children. Set out specific rules for discipline, the child's diet and more.
• Communication provisions: Communication can make or break a co-parenting relationship. Specify how parents may communicate with one another and how they will stay in touch with the child. Written communication between parents is recommended as it allows you to think through what you're saying. Plus, it can be used as evidence.
• Travel provisions: If the Disney parent is going to take the child on trips, they should give notice ahead of time. Detail rules for travel, as well as any places you agree the child should not go.
• Exchange provisions: Stress the importance of returning your child on time in accordance with your parenting time schedule, and returning your children's belongings to the household of the parent who purchased them.

Custody X Change helps you stay on top of co-parenting.