My Co-Parent Ignores Me: How To Handle Co-Parent Avoidance

Co-parenting can be tough even with the most cooperative person on the other side and no animosity between both parties. You want the best for your child and hope the best is raising them without too many bumps in the road.

A silent co-parent makes that more difficult. The main thought running through your head may very well be: What do I do if my co-parent ignores me? The logistics of scheduling, schooling, social activities and any other decisions that need to be made cannot be done. So, how do you handle it in a way that proves the least damaging? There are a few strategies you can implement to navigate this difficult situation.

Clear communication

The main objective is to keep communications as professional as possible. While keeping any emotions out of this might be easier said than done, your communications to your co-parent should do exactly that. Speak to them only when needed about your child and follow these tips:

Have a clear objective

What is the purpose of the communication? Is it to tell them about a doctor’s appointment? A change in the sports schedule? Homework? Keep your objective in mind and craft a focused message.

Set expectations

After the objective, clearly state whatever action you need from your co-parent, whether it is a response, an action item or a confirmation of receipt.

Set a timeline

Set a deadline for your expectations. This lets your co-parent know that they have a certain amount of time to respond. This can hopefully prevent the option for open-ended silence on their end.

Communicate consequences

Let your co-parent know in a professional manner that silence won’t work in this situation. If they don’t respond, there will be a consequence. Whether it is you seeking help from a third party, an adjustment of the parenting schedule through the courts, or them missing their child, you won’t sit in the unknown as they ignore you. Be sure to phrase this part in an informative versus a threatening tone.

As you do this, be sure to document all of your efforts and keep it gathered in one place in case you do need proof later on. If your co-parent is missing any obligations, such as visitations, keep track of that as well.

Seek third-party help

Consider contacting your lawyer or a mediator to help you communicate with your co-parent. Your co-parent might respond if someone else is trying to speak with them or if they think that you’ll get the courts involved. Again, be sure to document any third-party efforts that are made.

Consider adjusting the parenting schedule

If your co-parent continues to be impossible to reach and isn’t showing up when they need to, consider getting the court to sign off on a different parenting schedule.

Having a nonresponsive, nonexistent co-parent can be harder than diminishing their obligations. Ask the courts to give you more custody, whether that is physical or legal. Show your consistent efforts in getting your co-parent to respond and have your lawyer showcase how ignoring you is not in the best interest of the child. At the end of the day, your child’s well-being is at the forefront, and sometimes, some co-parents are not invested in their children.

Conclusion

When you have a co-parent who ignores or avoids you, it can be a delicate situation. Always stay professional and try to set clear boundaries and expectations with them. If that doesn’t work, the courts are there for your final recourse.