Adoption by a Stepparent (With or Without Consent)

Adopting your stepchild is called a stepparent adoption or stepchild adoption.

You may also hear it called a second-parent adoption, co-parent adoption, family adoption or confirmatory adoption, but these terms often refer to adopting your unmarried partner's child.

Why people seek a stepchild adoption

Sometimes a parent faces challenges, and it just isn't possible for them to maintain a healthy relationship with their child.

When this happens, one possible response is for the child's stepparent to become the child's parent, giving them a more permanent legal role in the child's life. When someone marries into a stepparent role, they have to be responsive to the child's needs, and this may include formally stepping up if one parent is no longer in the picture.

Here are the broad scenarios in which a stepparent adoption may serve the child's best interests.

One parent is uninvolved

If a parent falls out of touch with their child entirely, that's abandonment. Infrequent contact, even if not considered abandonment, may fail to meet the child's needs.

The parent who's providing a stable home may decide to seek legal changes to protect their child — namely, that their new spouse will become a parent, legally replacing the parent who isn't fulfilling basic parental responsibilities.

Sometimes the absent parent admits that they can't provide adequate care and that their child is better off with their ex and their ex's new spouse. They may agree to give up their parental rights to make room for the stepparent to adopt their child.

One parent is unsafe for the child

If a parent presents ongoing safety risks or has a history of child abuse, a court may decide to terminate their parental rights, even against their wishes. The child would become legally available for adoption by their stepparent.

Domestic violence is taken seriously in family court. Nonviolent safety issues can also lead to termination of parental rights, such as failing to reliably feed and bathe a child, which could be considered neglect.

One parent dies

If one parent is deceased, the surviving parent has remarried and the stepparent is living with the child as a parental figure, then a stepchild adoption should be a simple court procedure.

Stepparent adoption laws

Stepparent adoption is possible in Australia, Canada, Ireland, the U.K. and the U.S., among other places. Your local laws may require you to be legally married to the person whose child you're adopting.

The custodial parent should participate in the court process, as their spouse can't adopt their child without their consent. A parent facing the termination of their parental rights should also participate, at least to ensure that the process goes smoothly for the benefit of their child.

A few examples of how laws differ:

Australia: Stepparents usually seek a parenting order to clarify their responsibilities. They may also seek adoption, though adoption in general is less common in Australia than in many other countries.

Canada: In Ontario, a stepparent adoption is called a family adoption. You must have been married at least six months, and the stepparent must have lived with the child at least one year. The court seeks the child's consent if they're at least seven years old. In Manitoba, even if the court takes away one parent's rights and grants a stepparent adoption, the former parent can ask the court for access to the child (i.e., visits).

Ireland: Adopting a stepchild with an absent father is possible if he's notified and consulted. If the father can't be identified, you need an order from the High Court to proceed.

U.K.: You must have lived with your stepchild for at least six months before applying to adopt them. You and your spouse will have parental responsibility, and anyone else who previously had a court-ordered contact schedule will lose those visitation rights.

U.S.: All U.S. states allow a married person to adopt their spouse's child, and most allow unmarried partners to adopt too. Consult your state's laws.

The adoption process for stepparents

You'll likely have to receive a social worker into your home so they can conduct a home study. The court may also want to run a background check on the stepparent. These processes depend on local law. They may be mostly formalities if you've been caring for your child together for years. Though many people feel it's unnecessary and frustrating, it's something you have to go through.

Both spouses should actively participate in the process for a legal adoption by stepparent. When you're interviewed, communicate your sincere interest in parenting together so the interviewer is left with no doubt.

An adoption by a stepparent may take only three or four months if all goes smoothly. If the parent whose rights will be terminated is fighting the process, your case will take longer.

Try to find a lawyer who understands the type of situation you're going through.

Stepparent adoption without the biological parent's consent

The court hopes even an absent parent or unfit parent may one day be able to care for their child. It may order a step-up parenting plan to reward improvement. For example, if a parent has a mental illness that prevents them from parenting, a family judge may give them parenting time once they seek treatment. Cutting that parent out of the child's life should be a last resort.

(Courts especially want to make sure noninvolvement is not due to parental alienation, i.e., one parent turning the child against the other.)

With that said, if there's little hope of your child's other parent safely meeting your child's needs, you and your spouse may be able to get a stepparent adoption without their consent. Gather evidence of how long the mother or father has been absent or of serious problems they've caused, and bring it to a lawyer.

Preparing evidence for your stepparent adoption

If you're seeking a stepchild adoption because one parent is unfit or absent, you'll need to provide evidence of that parent's status.

In the Custody X Change online app, you can:

• Keep a journal about the parent's behavior.
  

• Track parenting time to show when they neglect their time with the child.
  

  

• Message the parent and store a tamperproof record.
  

  

Use the Custody X Change app's versatility to get the best outcome for your child.